Title:	Heart Break In Stereo
Date:	2007-06-25 @ 13:44
Security:	public
Music:	Chiodos-Baby, You Wouldn't Last A Minute On The Creek.
Mood:	gloomy

As I sit here and chain smoke while talking to my Mikey Babie, I got all thoughtful about my love life. I always get the bitchy self-centered girls who don't trust or I get the clingy guys who want to just stick to me.

But In the whole they've all wanted to change me. They always want more than I am. I just really want someone who likes me for who I am already, not for what they could change me into. I need someone whos going to trust me. Not accuse me of sleeping around with my friends, not someone who is going to try to get all buddy-buddy with my best friend if they don't like them anyway just to stay on my good side. I want somebody that isn't going to freak out over something stupid like my phone was off or dead, someone who will understand it IS actually difficult for me to call people, somebody who isn't just expecting to see the stong side of me; who dosn't expect me to get overwhelmed sometimes and just freak the fuck out like most people do. Some people don't really understand that the phrases 'don't worry about it' or 'its nothing' means I really don't want to talk about it, that it upsets me to talk about it. Some topics are still really hard for me to talk about with alot of people. 

I can't have somebody sickenly sweet to me that sees me as perfect either, I'm just difficult like that I guess :] People who obey my every command are obnoxious and annyoing really, that constant compliance is really irritating. Or that whole 'hey we've been dating a week, have sex with me!'; and the whole idea of saying that you're in love with someone you've been seeing for a month is absurd. You don't fall in madly love in a week really. Atleast I don't. You can adore a person for what you see but, you don't really know a person that quick to love them.

I like people who feel like they don't have to be perfect for me. A persons flaws are what makes them human. People who are comfortable with themselves are just pleasing to be around. So what if you think you're fat, or ugly? There is always somebody out there who is going to like the way you look, act and love being around you. It may take a while but there always are.

Hot, sexy and bang'n are NOT real compliments. Beautiful, goregous and adorable are. The nicest feeling in the world it to have somebody tell you you're beautiful and mean it while you think you're at your worst. Sometimes everybody needs someone to listen to them, to understand them when they express how fucked up they are. And once somebody REALLY learns how fucked up you are either they split or they stay with you and try to do their best to support you though your bad times. And it's only fair to share your bad times back after somebody explains everything to you, to help them feel like they're ok, that its ok to be wrong, ok to be insecure and to be scared. If you're like me, after they learn about the real you they want nothing to do with you once they learn you'll never be quite normal. And there is a normal. Normal is what society accepts and expects; many of you who think you're not normal in all reality you are.

But enough of me pouring my brain/heart out to nothing but a place to write.

<3